Nervous exhaustion after a summer of constant rushing and running and traveling and spending.
Airport nausea on the moving walkway, eyes to the ground past everyone that’s no one. Three o’clock alarm. Coffee maker sunrise and a hand tattoo. Text message scrambled eggs. Cheese omelet in the Sky Lounge. Red shoes. Red shoes. Button. Seven swears. Toothpaste. Fight until you’re out of breath.
Wonder backwards. Wonder bread. Wonder under the bridge in Bentonville.
Eleven. Seven. Ten. Twelve. Twenty-six.
Carnival barker price is right. Glasses on the forehead. Middle seat to Reagan. Airline airway germ collector. Backpacks on the front. Setbacks and trays to their full upright position. Legs crossed for the inflight movie. Compliments to the coffee chef. November fifth with one sleep to go until the kids are wed. Long time listener, first time caller and I thought I’d have a partner on this flight.
Alas, I do not. Spell correct told me I did and I chuckled. It’s like the internet knows everything.
Boarded plane. Boarded windows. Water boarded. Tell me everything in the communication gap. This Grand Canyonesque divide. This tour divide. This transcontinental adventure for two traveling in opposite directions. Ships in the night. Shadow boxers. Lovers lost at sea.
Set it down. Walk away from it. Always forward. Always forward.
- STOP -
THERE IS A LIFE VEST UNDER YOUR SEAT.
There is a life vest under your seat belt is fastened. All alone in the middle chair. All alone in the middle of life. Cannot pull myself away from the thing that happened to me and all I want is to acknowledge that the thing simply happened. Not to me. Only that it occurred. Having taken place. Was. Is. Are.
Was. Were. Whiz.
Bathroom line at the baseball game. Paragraphs jumping around like water in the hot skillet. Words waggling between thoughts and weaving in and out of queue. Temperature check. Sanitary wipe. Moved to Arizona to avoid the snow. Circle back. Let’s have a meeting. There’s no shame in putting it all down.
Brick sidewalk. Cedar siding. Cedar Sinai. The hospital on the East side is the walk and the way and I’ve only ever tried to show up as being helpful. I’ve only ever showed up and never really asked for the things that I’ve wanted because that wasn’t how it worked in my house and I never learned that asking was okay and what I know I need now is to ask to be asked. Basic need. Basic needs.
Make the want list. Ask for the things. Show up. Be helpful. Hold the word. Do the next right thing. Caring. Compassionate. Always forward.